Mendoza, Part I: The Night Bus

When we first booked our tickets on the Night Bus, my brain kept picturing a train car like the ones we slept in on the Eurail. I imagined our own glassed-in car with bunk beds and unintelligible but cordial Germans, and maybe a trolley selling pumpkin pasties (They do like their pumpkin down here - we've had it no less than 3 times pureed into a dip for bread). After several reminders that it was in fact a BUS, the picture changed to something more Harry Potter-esque: four-poster beds with hot chocolate spilling everywhere as the vehicle lurched dangerously along the streets.

Reality turned out to be somewhere in between. The beds are seats that fully recline (if you splurge the extra $20), and there really is a bus attendant who might bring you hot chocolate if you ask. She brought us wine (two glasses of Malbec and one of champagne) in preparation for our arrival in wine country. Everyone has his or her own screen on which to watch movies or listen to music. The beginners (Emily and I) watched American movies with Spanish subtitles while Billy and Lara enjoyed Blended (or "Family Honeymoon," as it was so accurately translated), apparently one of the few films deemed worthy of dubbing.

The best Night Bus custom has got to be Bus Bingo. The attendant comes around and hands everyone a small square of surprisingly durable paper printed with numbers along with a flimsy plastic stick. She then introduces the rules of Bus Bingo, which some non-Spanish speaker or other will inevitably not comprehend ("What do you mean I don't have a bingo? This whole line is full!" ...Ok, I'm guilty) before proceeding to read out 70+ numbers in a row. If one of your numbers matches, you stab through it with your tiny stick. It's a great way to practice both your Spanish numbers and the art of avoiding needle sticks! Unfortunately, my stick broke three times during our second round of Bus Bingo. Fortunately, that didn't matter because I am currently living with the multi-round champion of Bus Bingo: Emily Reeves. She didn't want to tell anyone until we got back without her, but I guess I'll break the news that she's dropping out of med school to join the Bus Bingo circuit throughout Argentina and stockpile cases of Chardonnay. Because Bus Bingo is not just for fun - it's for prizes! Wine prizes!

The winner and wine

Her first round bus bingo prize

To be drunk poolside

On the roof of our hotel

Until someone gets hurt - oops.

Sadly the Night Bus is not all fun and games. We first discovered this as we waited patiently to be served our nightly champagne. The attendant slowly climbed the half-spiraled staircase to the second floor, a tray full of shimmering glasses of champagne balanced in her hands... only to suddenly trip or lurch with the bus and lose control, spilling plastic glasses and champagne all over the floor of the bus and the first available passenger - Billy.

A shaky bus and a clumsy attendant are not the only hazards. The bathroom, for example, is an unexpected challenge with a very sticky door. If you manage to get inside, you will likely hit someone with the door on the way out when it finally unsticks and springs open, and that someone will probably be the poor champagne-soaked attendant. Lara also discovered that the door is not quite sticky enough to prevent walk-ins. Too panicked to conjugate "Someone's in here!" or "Get the heck out!" in Spanish, she was reduced to the universal language of screaming.

Mendoza at last!

13 hours later, as Billy's shoes began to dry out and the attendant woke us up to steal our blankets and provide us with watery coffee, we arrived in the paradise land of Mendoza. We had survived the unexpectedly adventurous journey that is the Night Bus.


Potables: Unidentified Malbec, Norton Chardonnay

Much-needed coffee
As the real journey begins:
Mucho wine ahead.